Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize