yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
