You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
