i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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