lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
love makes seman taste better
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize