Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Randomize
