I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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