one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
