Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
