Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
