made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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