What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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