Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
