i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
