im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Shame is for Republicans.
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