By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Non-Jews are for practice
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
