He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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