WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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