Me too!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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