I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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