his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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