Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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