Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
