There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
