i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
