dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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