She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
