Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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