I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
did you just send me my own nude
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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