She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
