now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
