where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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