I'm so fucking centered right now
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
