I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
