She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
