So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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