Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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