I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Farmville is her only friend.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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