to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
