we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
