imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
