Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
