Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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