It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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