at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
