In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
