I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
