should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just made my gag reflex go away.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
