He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize