First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
