My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
