Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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