and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
