Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
