I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
