Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
