idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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